


The tomorrow of my yesterday

by SerenitySummers



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, But Wang YiBo will save his wangfei, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, I make Xiao Zhan suffer, M/M, No beta we die like wwx, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, Second Chances, Support Xiao Zhan, The Author Regrets Everything, Time Travel, Top Wang Yi Bo/Bottom Xiao Zhan, Yizhan - Freeform, based on 'Rebirth of a movie star'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23768299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenitySummers/pseuds/SerenitySummers
Summary: This is a story of based on a Chinese Webnovel titled "Rebirth of a movie star"The year is 2026. The once famous actor Xiao Zhan has succumbed to a heart attack. In other news, Jiang Lian, the lead actor of the popular TV show, "Players" has confirmed his engagement with Nang ChangChang.When Xiao Zhan died, he had multiple regrets. His last lucid moments in that life were spent on the phone with a panicked Wang Yi Bo.Or, An AU where Xiao Zhan is a famous actor whose life is embroiled in scandals till he dies. The AO3 scandal, rumors about his relationship with YiBo, and his illicit affairs with Jiang Lian are some of them. After dying, he is thrown back eight years, right as he is about to be selected for the role of Wei Wu Xian in The Untamed.This is Xiao Zhan's second chance at life. Will he make it out unscathed, and perhaps even happy, this time?Contains OCs, and of course the whole thing is fictional.
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan
Comments: 39
Kudos: 191
Collections: Time Travel and World Travel





	1. Is a second chance worth it?

**Author's Note:**

> I have been dragged into shipping bjyx/Yizhan, and as I was pondering over the whole mess that was ao3 ban.... This idea was born. I would like to make it clear that this is a work of fiction. It does not represent the actors real life or personalities simply because I don't know them personally. If Yizhan is not your cup of tea, fair enough, you may safely retreat. I won't tolerate any hatred against Xiao Zhan or Wang YiBo in this fanfic. If you are an anti, just back off. Free speech exists but I'm free to ignore your opinion, so :) 
> 
> Secondly, although this is based on a Webnovel, I will be making changes to the plot as I see fit. I won't be focusing a LOT on X NINE because I'm not familiar with them so again, don't take their personalities here as real. So you don't necessarily have to read the original novel to understand this story, although if you have, do let me know! Also, most events will be fictional. Again, this is based off Xiao Zhan's life, true, but it's NOT his life story, please learn to differentiate between fanFICTION and reality!
> 
> Thirdly, I will try my best to be regular with updates. I am not entirely familiar with Chinese language and it's intricacies, so if something feels 'off', do educate me. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this!

**If you haven't read the notes above, PLEASE DO. Before you begin reading, kindly read the notes above! Thank you.**

  


☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

  


  


  


  


  


"Xiao Zhan.... I keep telling you, it wasn't me who leaked it!"

"Then who?" Xiao Zhan's tired voice came from the other side. 

A long pause. Then, "I- I don't know...." Xiao Zhan cut the phone call, not bothering to say goodbye. His head was a muddled pond filled with endless thoughts, and the blaring loud voice of the TV reporter kept circling around it, as she said, 

_“… In regards to Jiang Lian’s earlier press conference, Asia International’s Chief Executive’s daughter, heiress Nang ChangChang has also ten minutes ago updated her social media to publicly confirm the news of her engagement to Jiang Lian….”_

_"When asked about the rumors that her fiance was possibly involved romantically with a man, her only response was such: "Me and Jiang Lian have been dating for over two years now... It's highly disconcerting that people spread such indecent rumors, but what can you do? Our Jiang Lian is just so popular that many C and D list actors are deliberately tied with his name, just for a little popularity....but we are happy to announce ourselves as a couple in love, and thank everyone for their kind wishes."_

Xiao Zhan clenched and unclenched his teeth at the mention of 'two years now'. Had he been imagining his whole relationship with Jiang Lian for two years, then??

A couple in love. A D list actor, sticking himself on for a minute's worth of relevance. Indecent rumors. Each of these words cut through Xiao Zhan's chest like a sharp blade, over and over again. So, for Jiang Lian, their relationship was nothing more than an 'Indecent rumor'. Xiao Zhan had treasured this person, thought of him as the strong pillar he could lean on for support in this life filled with turmoil, only for him to denounce everything they shared as nothing but an 'indecent rumor'. A sharp pain wracked through his chest, leaving him gasping for air. Bile churned inside his stomach and it felt like someone was punching him in his upper abdomen, in short but consistent bursts of pain.

In the midst of his despair, his phone rang, and Xiao Zhan lifelessly picked it up, only to see a call from the one person he didn't wish to talk to. 

_Wang Yi Bo._

Still, he picked it up, because what had he to lose, anymore? 

"Hello? Zhan Ge?" This was the first time Yibo had called in years, and yet his voice was as familiar as ever. Xiao Zhan simply said, "Mn.", too tired for words. 

"Zhan Ge.. the news..." YiBo's tone was careful, as though he was afraid of setting Zhan off by saying the wrong thing. 

"Mn. You heard."

".... Yes. Were you.... Did you..... break up?" Yibo asked cautiously.

"hahaha.... what break up? Didn't you hear? It was nothing, just an indecent rumor." Xiao Zhan's throat was dry, mind blank and voice numbed with the brunt of emotional upheaval he had just gone through, in the span of a few hours. His chest trembled as sharp and short spasms of pain came and his heartbeat was erratic, too fast to be normal.

"Zhan Ge.........he was........you don't........." Through the throbbing pain in his chest and consequent ringing in his ears, Xiao Zhan could barely hear what Yibo was saying. 

His head was spinning as reds, blues and greens flashed before his eyes, unable to focus on anything. He barely registered Yibo's panicked voice asking him if he was okay, before he finally lost his consciousness, everything fading to black.

  


  


  


☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

  


  


  


  


Xiao Zhan woke up from a long and weary dream, gasping for air. The room he was in was his tiny apartment, where he had just died. 

  


Yes, Xiao Zhan was pretty sure he had died, just minutes ago, sitting on his couch whilst on the phone with YiBo. He was also sure that he had died on XX day, XX month, in the year XXXX, EIGHT YEARS from the current date his phone was showing him! 

According to the too bright screen, it was 2018, just about a week before he was to receive the news regarding his role in Chen Qing Ling. He got up from the bed, legs trembling and heart beating hard enough for him to feel it through his chest, and towards the mini calendar on his desk. It was from an advertising deal, a complimentary gift of sorts he had received.

The same mini calendar he had lost over five years ago when Jianguo, his cat, had knocked over a bowl of water on it and ruined the whole print. 

Right now, it was fully intact and looked brand new, pages painted with brilliant colours against crisp white glossy paper. The date was the same as his phone. 

Okay. _okay._

He _could_ deal with this, couldn't he? 

Somehow .... Xiao Zhan had.... travelled back in time. Which was _impossible_ , scientifically proven. He had died, and some deity or power had decided it was no fun for him to just die, and..... sent him back? 

For _what?_

_Was it a second chance to live his life, aiming for a better ending?_

It wasn't as if it made no sense. Really, if there was a medal for bad luck striking you, Xiao Zhan would win it for the number of times bad luck chose to freeload in his life. He had gone through his life like a rollercoaster on jeopardy, reaching an insane high only to fall really low.

He'd started off as a designer, then delved into the world of an idol singer, then an actor who received a role in a somewhat risky production, only for it to be an internationally acclaimed and beloved drama with insane ratings. He'd gone on to get involved in the messy life of fandoms as his name was dragged in a massive scandal, only to push out and find himself in the midst of a pandemic.

It would make sense if he had died back then, but fate had decided that Xiao Zhan was to rise again, and so he rose, with a single song that hit the top charts, another drama with insane ratings and once again, Xiao Zhan was beloved. 

Perhaps good luck brings bad luck alongside her, because at the end of this rainbow was a massive scandal that would rue Xiao Zhan's life and career and one he would never be the same after. 

Still, he persevered, to earn a side role in another ambitious and risky production, and while the fame was relatively good, it had ended in Xiao Zhan finding out he had been cheated on. 

Jiang Lian had been an aspiring young actor when they had met, just like Xiao Zhan, full of zeal and fervour for his future. They'd met, clicked and had been friends for over five years, and lovers for three. It had all ended the day Jiang Lian's engagement with Nang ChangChang was announced. Jiang Lian hadn't even broken up with him, he'd just left Xiao Zhan's apartment on the pretext of a family emergency, borrowed money from Xiao Zhan, and a after a week of radio silence, a news channel had communicated to the whole public, and Xiao Zhan, that he was quite happily engaged. 

And all Xiao Zhan was was an _indecent rumour._

Can you imagine struggling your whole life to live your dream, find your own place and person to spend it with, only to be dismissed off as an indecent rumour?

  


That was Xiao Zhan's first life. A drunken dream where the highs only lasted for a deep breath, but the lows were filled with painful gasps and never-ending nights. 

And when he thought he was finally free of this worldly dream, someone had sent him back. For what? 

_love?_   


_revenge?_

_ambition?_

If it was up to you, to relive your life, what would you choose? 

Xiao Zhan sat in his room till the first deep blue was tinged with the orange lights of dawn, and even after that, till the sky turned clean blue with wispy clouds across it. He had suffered the brunt of overzealous fans, wanting to control all aspects of his life. He had suffered the blame game and come out the scapegoat for decisions taken by people he had no name or face for. He had loved, lost and moved on, unwilling to drag a precious person into his muddled swamp of a life. 

He had found what he thought was a supportive friend turned lover, braved the solitary peak of success and even fought for the wronged in his darkest nights. He'd won.

He'd won, but he was still the fool. 

Now that he had a chance to relive it all, with his memories intact, he would choose better. He would live this second chance to his fullest, unwilling to drag himself or his loved ones in the mud, ever again. 

  


  


  



	2. Arc 1: The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiao Zhan receives the offer for the filming of The Untamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tried to research around to get accurate details about the filming of The Untamed. It is true that Zhan's agency did not want him to get this role and he did fight for it. Yang Xia's producer friend recommended Xiao Zhan for the role and he was chosen for his 'clean gaze'. The answer he gave is what I think about Wei WuXian myself.

Ever since he had been reborn, Xiao Zhan found himself experiencing symptoms of learned helplessness. He found himself thinking that since things had already happened in a certain manner once, their outcomes must be set in fate's stone tablets. There was nothing he could do that would lead to a better outcome for himself, so why should he bother living this bizarre second life any differently? There was the constant looming fear that he was nothing but a mere puppet in some outside entity's hands, who had sent him back only for him to relive the pain he had once been through. He was all alone in his tiny apartment with zero to none contact and for his current state it only meant overabundant feelings of pressing anxiety that sat heavy in his chest. The nights were worse, as not even the sounds of the streets at night could pull Xiao Zhan from his nightmares.

Nightmares of meeting Wang Yibo, and losing him once. Of losing his fans, being scrutinized under a public microscope for his inaction, then after another two years, being scorned and doubted for his actions. 

Xiao Zhan was afraid. He moved about his house listlessly, often forgetting to feed himself and only realizing after his stomach screamed and rebelled. He did and redid the same things, completely neglecting others. It was in this haze that his manager found him, and she was quite spooked and alarmed to see the usually lively and cheerful Xiao Zhan look so grim and despondent. It was as if he was wearied down by life, his gentle soul plucked out and what remained was this empty shell.

"Xiao Zhan..... did something happen?" his manager began, hesitantly.

"Mmm? No...... What did you come for, Ming Fan-ge?" Xiao Zhan asked, his tone empty.

"Zhan, you've been listless for days now, it's not like you at all. Is there an issue at home? Is someone sick? Are you... Perhaps sick? Please talk to me, I need to know before I give you the news." Ming Fan said. 

Xiao Zhan sighed. "I've just been in a very self introspective mood for the past week, Fan-ge. Don't think too much of it. What is the news?"

Ming Fan nodded, then took a deep breath before smiling and saying, "Zhan, you've been offered a role. A lead role, in an upcoming adaption of a famous Webnovel. Don't you feel excited? I personally think it's a risky production, but I have a good feeling about it!"

Xiao Zhan smiled. In his past life, he had been shocked and had stammered at Ming Fan to tell him the details. It was a strange sense of nostalgia, to live through events you've already gone through. 

"Mn. What is it about? Did they send a script?"

Ming Fan looked happier now that Xiao Zhan's mood seemed better. "Yes! It's a live production of a popular xianxia novel called " _Mó Dào Zǔ Shī"_ by this one author.... Airplane shooting towards the sky, I believe. Anyway, it's looking to be a lengthy production, and they were looking at you for one of the male leads. There's just one thing though...."

Xiao Zhan already knew why his manager was hesitant. _Mó Dào Zǔ Shī_ was a hardcore Danmei novel, after all, even if China's censorship wouldn't allow them to show anything, it still meant two prominent male leads. 

"What is it? Does the schedule for auditions clash with my other shooting?" Zhan asked.

"No... Well, we don't know about the audition dates yet, but........ The novel has homosexuality, I don't think they'll show it on the live action.... Are you still up for it?" 

"Let us see the script first. I will audition if I like the script." Zhan said calmly.

Ming Fan nodded and handed over his tablet, showing a short excerpt the director had sent for them to review. 

As Xiao Zhan read through the prologue and dialogues, he wondered how his first big role had a character who's persona may not be the same as Xiao Zhan, but whose life did somewhat mirror Xiao Zhan's own. 

Long after he'd given his okay to Ming Fan for the script and confirmed that he would audition as soon as the dates were confirmed, Xiao Zhan sat on his couch, Jianguo on his lap as he thought over it.

Wei WuXian, orphaned yet promising young head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang, often misunderstood as heretic, dragged through misery over unfortunate circumstances, only to lose his family, his reputation and finally, his life. 

The newly reborn Xiao Zhan felt a chill go down his spine as he thought of his own past life. Was this the trigger, then? Did accepting Wei WuXian's role, and empathizing with this character bleed so much into his life that it brought him a similar miserable life? 

Was accepting Chen Qing Ling his biggest mistake, the flap of the butterfly wings that set of a hurricane that dragged Xiao Zhan to dust? 

Xiao Zhan couldn't accept it. For one, he'd always thought of A-Ling as one of the brightest times of his life, in both his lives. He'd gained experience as an actor, friends as a human, and had fallen in love.... Even if it was bound to fail. 

A-Ling had drawn him in the tale of Wei WuXian and Lan Wangji. It had reaffirmed his belief in true love, the idea that two people could love and care for each other so much, that even death wasn't a barrier.... Xiao Zhan had been in disbelief, until he'd experienced it himself. 

Chen Qing Ling had brought Xiao Zhan to the shores of Wang YiBo. And when he said goodbye to Wei WuXian, he felt unbearably sad, yet insanely happy. A-Ling was over, WangXian had set off on their path, but YiZhan had just begun. 

That was what he had felt, until tragedy struck them in the form of their own careers. They were shipped to death because of that drama, yet they couldn't be seen together or even look at each other because of that drama's popularity. In the end, their schedules and life had pulled them apart and dulled their love's fire. 

Xiao Zhan had been the first to pull back, to break up. YiBo was too young, too dedicated, too driven, too strong. He was also too fragile for Xiao Zhan's cowardly attitude. Xiao Zhan hated conflict, he was afraid of it, and to avoid conflict with YiBo and their careers, they had broken up. 

Looking back on it now, after suffering through a half hearted love and painful betrayal himself, Xiao Zhan wondered how he could face Wang YiBo in this life. 

Perhaps he should have rejected the offer this time around. Perhaps Xiao Zhan was never made for the entertainment industry, he should just go back to designing. 

Before his fingers could move to call his manager and reject the offer, he felt a sharp pain in them.

Looking down, he realized that the cause was Jianguo nipping at his fingers, looking mighty displeased as she glared at Zhan.

"What's wrong, girl? Are you hungry? Did I not pet you well enough? Or are you sleepy?" He cooed at his cat, gently scooping her up to face him.

"Miaooo~~~~" Jianguo batted at his face.

"I have no idea what you're saying but maybe you're hungry.... Let's go get some food in you, okay?"

Zhan secured Jianguo in his arms and strode towards his tiny kitchenette, bringing out her food bowl. 

Once filled, he set both down on the floor, but Jianguo refused to eat. She kept on staring fixedly at Zhan, back at her food, and back again at the counter. She got up on all fours, jumped on the counter and sat in front of the cupboard, raising herself up on shaky hind legs to bat at the door, and then looked back at Xiao Zhan, as if telling him something.

".......... Do you want something from the cupboard.... There's only snacks in there though....." Zhan's eyebrows furrowed as he shifted behind his cat to slowly open his cupboard and pulled out a packet of roasted nuts.

Jianguo kept staring at him.

"..... Jianguo.... Do you... Want to eat these?"

Jianguo kept staring, looking disappointed now. Or maybe it was just Zhan hallucinating emotions on his cat. 

"..............do you want me to eat these?" Zhan slowly opened the packet and popped one cashew in his mouth.

Jianguo simply hopped down, trotted over to her food bowl and began eating, seemingly satisfied.

..... 

Strangely enough, the gentle person was reminded of his mother, who always said this: 

"When you're feeling hungry or sleepy, you will get silly thoughts, Zhanzhan, so make sure to feed yourself and sleep properly!"

☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

A day passed but there was no call for any audition from his manager. Xiao Zhan was already expecting this to happen, this had happened in his past life too.

His management seemed to be content with portraying Xiao Zhan as the oldest member and visual/vocalist of XNINE, no need to take on any acting projects, he's just not good enough, ba.

In his past life, he had to go through several people to finally contact the director of A-Ling himself to get his audition confirmed and even his further schedule, adjusting it alongside his other drama commitments because his management was least bothered about him.

In this life, even if Ming FanGe had brought him the news of the role, he would still be suppressed by his superiors who did not believe Xiao Zhan capable of acting as a male lead yet. 

So Xiao Zhan had not bothered to wait for all these complications to happen this time around, instead he'd managed to get the absent minded Ming Fan to disclose the Weibo contact details of one of the producers and writer, Yang Xia. He'd managed to adjust his schedule around to get a sit down audition for the role, his portfolio had already been looked over by her. 

On a fine winter day in late March, Xiao Zhan arrived at the office of Tencent Penguin, and was cordially received by Yang Xia in her office.

"Xiao Zhan. It's nice to meet you, although I was surprised you approached me directly instead of through your agency..." 

"Ah, it looks like my agency is quite preoccupied with various tasks and could not contact you, still I was interested in your script, so I decided, why waste time when we can informally meet? It is an honour to meet you." 

Yang Xia nodded, and said, 

"I was interested in you as one of my friends suggested your profile to me. You have the perfect look for Wei WuXian- a clean gaze, soft smile, mischievous looks. But that is your countenance, what I'm more interested in is your perception of Wei WuXian. Tell me, have you read the novel? Or if you haven't, what did you think of him through the script? Take your time."

Xiao Zhan nodded. He'd had a long time to empathize with and retrospect over Wei WuXian.

"To me, it sounds like Wei WuXian is a character you'd never forget. Someone who has the presence of a tiger, like a legend, but in reality, his dreams yearn for simplicity and peace, warmth and fun. Wei WuXian is a legend- seen through the prism of a story of the Yiling Patriarch, a monster who murdered his sister, and countless innocents. He's someone who has learnt through bitter experience just what words can do to a person, which is his main characteristic as well- Wei WuXian talks a lot. He says everything in two words, and nothing in a long string of them. He needs to be heard, he needs to express his worth, his passions, his love, his anger- yet he keeps hiding his darkest nights and deepest fears. Wei WuXian is a human that was destined to rise as many times as he fell." 

Yang Xia looked at him with a an astounded face, clearly not expecting such an answer from a rookie actor with little fame. 

"Well... That's a very intense perspective....very intriguing too... You are well prepared for this, Xiao Zhan." She murmured, managing to reign her astonishment in.

She did not know that Xiao Zhan had died and been reborn, she certainly did not know the connection Xiao Zhan felt with Wei WuXian. 

Xiao Zhan simply nodded and gave a small smile.

Looking at the clean gaze of the young man, with his gentle yet slightly aloof expression, as if he had endured something that changed his life, the woman felt a little happy. She had been expecting a green, somewhat amateurish young man. This person had the outlook of a seasoned actor, one that could grasp at the core of his character swiftly. 

There was no hesitation. Xiao Zhan had to play Wei WuXian. 

☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what Zhan will say when he finally meets Wang YiBo!


	3. Script reading for CQL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YiZhan finally meet.  
> XZ for the past three chapters: Cannot meet YB! Too dangerous! Must avoid!  
> YB: Zhan Ge!  
> XZ, putting on his clown wig and costume: Well fuck, looks like Bo-Di called me, aight, imma head out, folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The action won't start for a looong while, CQL arc will just be these two babies falling in lovveeee ;) so enjoy the fluff.... While you still can..... ;)
> 
> Also, the chapter music is 
> 
> "Everytime" by Chen and Punch :) listening to it might increase your experience!

**Chapter 3- Script Reading for CQL**

**[Everytime by Chen](https://open.spotify.com/track/1D6lK8qADoErTTLkY4YBfM?si=IdNXxGyCShiPVptSH1p1wg) **

The sky was a lovely blue, the clouds painting it with splashes of white as they swam across it. It wasn't too cold either, for a winter's day. All in all, a good day to be out, if only Xiao Zhan would notice it.

He'd received the call for the script reading at around the same time as his first life, and had spent over an hour just zoning out, lost in the memories of meeting YiBo for the first time.

In his last life, he and YiBo had barely talked during the script reading, both too shy and somehow intimidated by the other. It had been Xiao Zhan who bridged the gap and made conversation first, and then there had been no stopping them.

Now, he was debating furiously with himself as to how far he could take this. Should he try for a second chance with his first love, someone he had left out of sheer desperation and then regretted it for a long while, only to find love and lose it again, having nothing but heartbreak as his last few moments?

Did he deserve a second chance with YiBo? YiBo was still young and untainted by Xiao Zhan's messy life. He would go higher and higher, Xiao Zhan had been witness to it all. He'd only fallen low when he'd collided with Xiao Zhan.

That debate had gone on for days and here he was, just outside the room they would all gather in, still undecided and hesitant.

He kept staring at the door, wondering how to get through this with the best possible outcomes.

"The doors here don't usually open by themselves, you must push them in, you know?" a voice came from behind him.

Xiao Zhan breathed in sharply, as his heart thudded loudly in his ears. He'd spent his last moments hearing the scared renditions of his name in this voice.

He whirled around, only to finally see the face of the man whose fate had been intricately tied with his own, time and again, through good times and bad, both unable to let go.

There stood Wang YiBo, younger than ever, with a small twinkle in his phoenix eyes, hair a soft brown, mussed up and peeking through his cap.

He was the same, yet so, so different. This Wang YiBo looked at him like a stranger would, no hidden emotions lurked in the depths of those eyes, nor did his smile look tired and cautious, like he was expecting Xiao Zhan to hurt him with his words.

The sound of a throat being cleared shook him out of his thoughts, and Xiao Zhan gave YiBo what he hoped was a normal smile as he said, "Sorry about that. I'm just a little........ nervous."

YiBo nodded, then walked forward. The duo walked inside the room where everyone had already gathered, sitting and waiting expectantly for them. Xiao Zhan chastised himself mentally for getting too lost in the past. Right now, he was not dead. He was eight years younger, his life had just begun, no point in agonizing over things that these people haven't experienced.

Yang Xia was also there, and after she greeted both Xiao Zhan and Wang YiBo, the script reading promptly began.

Just like last time, they were narrating the Cloud Recesses scene, so that all characters could have dialogues.

There was nothing more that went wrong that day, and after more than an hour, the script reading session ended.

"I think we are ready for sending our announcements of the drama cast, then! We'll be contacting you soon for the martial arts and etiquette training camp. Since we will take some time to announce the project to the public, please refrain from sending out any news until we confirm it! Thank you for coming here today." With these words, Yang Xia officially ended the script reading session, and everyone got up, bowing down to each other as they slowly began to file out of the room.

Wang YiBo, who had been sitting next to Xiao Zhan the whole while, turned to him and bowed, before saying, "I look forward to working with you, Xiao Zhan."

"Me too. Let's work hard." Xiao Zhan barely got the words out before he made a beeline for the door, just remembering not to run out of the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾  
  
  
  
  
  
  


By the time they assembled for the training camp, Xiao Zhan had managed to calm himself down. He'd gone about his tasks with strict regularity, and his other shooting commitments kept him thankfully busy enough.

He took out the time to write down all the facts about his new life and how they had differed from his old in a diary. The differences where majorly regarding his acceptance for the role of Wei WuXian, apparently Yang Xia had been impressed enough to personally call and ask for Xiao Zhan at his office, and that had played a major role in removing over half the obstacles he'd faced in his past life.

He supposed that even his company had to relent when the very writer and director of the show said that you were what they were looking for.

Another difference had been that he had interacted with YiBo before going for shooting, but seeing that it was but a few words, Xiao Zhan decided it wasn't important enough.

Now, they were training for the action sequences and memorising etiquettes of the ancient world, and Xiao Zhan distinctly remembered that he had not had a chance to interact with Wang YiBo even here, as the boy had chosen a different timing to complete his training, owing to some other commitments.

With this relief bringing thought in mind, Xiao Zhan had come to the training camp in a good mood. Only, it turns out that not only was YiBo there in the camp, but also that Xiao Zhan and Wang YiBo would train together to get to know each other better for the drama. They were the main leads, after all, and while getting along with the whole cast was good, what drama would win the charts if their main leads had no good relationship?

As much as Xiao Zhan had been whining and dreading meeting Wang YiBo, once they actually met, all his hesitations disappeared into thin air.

"Hello Xiao Zhan. I hope you've learnt how to open doors since we last met!" Wang YiBo gave him a sly grin, eyes sparkling with soft laughter as Xiao Zhan blinked at him, before returning his smile with his own bunny smile.

"Ahhhh Wang YiBo! It's not been two minutes and you've already started teasing me, huh?" Xiao Zhan chuckled.

He was given a wide eyed look as YiBo said, "Sorry ge..... I can call you that, can't I? Zhan ge? I just thought we might as well start getting along if we are to spend the next many months together!"

Xiao Zhan nodded amiably and said, "Go ahead, I don't mind. And you're right, we must get along. Since you're my senior in this industry, I will humbly ask Wang Laoshi to kindly correct this one if I make any rookie mistakes..." Xiao Zhan bowed.

Wang YiBo raised his eyebrows, but nodded and returned the gesture.

"Since Zhan ge is older, he has to take care of me too!"

With this small introduction, there was no stopping them. Although Xiao Zhan had claimed to be a rookie, he was someone who had many years of experience under his belt, not to mention this role had been his career's highlight. For him to portray Wei WuXian was almost child's play, with the added affinity he felt for the character.

Wei WuXian could never be alone, Lan Wangji always followed him, so of course Xiao Zhan felt a lot of fondness for his character as well.

Wang YiBo was a lot like Lan Wangji too, not that he himself realized it. From their reticent, laconic and shy natures, to their fierce protectiveness of their loved ones, to their habits of hiding emotions, they did share many qualities, but they also differed on many fronts.

All of this just meant that Xiao Zhan could accurately point out which emotions Lan Wangji will choose to showcase and how, which meant that when they actually started shooting, he and Wang YiBo were a lot more polished and refined as actors than a rookie would normally be.

One of the first scenes they shot was the cloud recesses scene, and both of them faced a huge challenge to showcase the delicate emotions of sixteen year old boys when neither of them were close to being sixteen.

Sixteen year old Wei WuXian was easier to slip into, with his ever present smile and boisterous nature.

When they were rehearsing for the first meeting of Lan Wangji and Wei WuXian, he could see Wang YiBo struggling to maintain his poker face whilst showing as much disapproval as he thought Lan Wangji could, so he gently suggested, "Wang YiBo, instead of moving your facial expressions, just practice giving me a glare. Don't bother with emphasis on your eyebrows, or even frowning. Just imagine that you're in constant ice cold weather, and you've seen Wei WuXian misbehaving as per usual, but since you can't move your facial lines easily, you just glare at him!"

Wang YiBo furrowed his brows before chuckling a little. "Zhan ge, you sure have a strange way of teaching acting, are you going to start Xiao Zhan acting school in the future?"

"Aiii, I try to help you, and you tease me, Wang Laoshi is very mean! And how could I start an acting school when Wang Laoshi is obviously more experienced in teaching? You even mentor all those idols on Produce 101! No no, I dare not compete."

He received a familiar gremlin smile before Wang YiBo said, "Xiao Laoshi is much better than this poor didi, I only mentor in dance, Xiao Laoshi is good at everything!"

Xiao Zhan couldn't help himself from rolling his eyes befor lightly hitting YiBo with his sword on the shoulder. He almost froze as he realized what he did, but YiBo just hit him right back with Bichen, and both of them erupted in laughter, pausing only after they received exasperated looks from their make up artists for messing around.

To his own surprise, Wang YiBo actually took his advice, and the rest of the scene moved swimmingly well as they wrapped up for the day.

"And that's a wrap! Well done, everyone, you've all worked hard!" With this dismissal for the day, everyone bowed at each other and left towards their own make up tents to remove the long and heavy costumes and wigs.

Wang YiBo easily fell into step next to Xiao Zhan, both of them walking in peaceful silence.

"Thank you for your advice, Ge. It's been particularly hard for me to play Lan Wangji, I often don't know if I'm showing too much emotion or if I'm not showing any at all, so your little cues and directions are very helpful." Wang YiBo flashed a grateful smile at Xiao Zhan, receiving a soft one in return.

Maybe it was the twilight, shooting from dawn till dusk and spending so much time together had eroded the last of Xiao Zhan's walls, or maybe it was the soft, vulnerable look in YiBo's eyes as he looked at him.

"No problem, Bo-Di. I had the same problem with Wei WuXian, I constantly felt I was over acting. But I'm sure we've found our balance with these two."

"Really? Zhan ge, you don't look like you're struggling at all! In fact.... You've been so natural at this all, even during etiquette training, I could've never guessed you have problems too." Wang YiBo looked at him with curious eyes, as if trying to read him.

"Bo-Di, I may look at ease, but yes, I have had a few reservations with playing Wei WuXian well. Of course, they are only momentary, once I look at you, most of them disappear."

Xiao Zhan only realized what he said after he'd already said those words, and how it sounded like. Could you blame him? He'd spent the happiest days of his second life with YiBo, and their time together had doubled from his first life. Even back then, Xiao Zhan had come to rely on Wang YiBo's steady presence when facing Wei WuXian's devils, just like Wei WuXian relied on his Lan Wangji. The difference was, WangXian had gone on long after the novel had ended and credits rolled past the drama, but Xiao Zhan and Wang YiBo's time together had come with a deadline. One that had been collectively put by the public's judgement and their own problems colluding.

Now, in this life, he had Wang YiBo had already become this close, this early, could you blame Xiao Zhan and his stupid mouth for oversharing?

Just as he was about to fill the pause their conversation had taken after his declaration, Wang YiBo said, "Zhan ge.... It should be me saying that, you know? You've been a huge support to me all this time. But if you think I act like a support system for you too.... I'm very very happy." with that, Wang YiBo beamed at Xiao Zhan before starting to walk ahead.

Xiao Zhan blinked, lingering behind a second too long before following YiBo's footsteps with his own faltering ones.

It seemed like no matter how many chances Xiao Zhan got to restart his life, he was meant to be entangled with this sweet person. It was like the Pied Piper's tune, Xiao Zhan would follow after Wang YiBo with just one alluring smile from him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how you liked it!


	4. WangXian? or WangXiao?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The filming of The Untamed continues..... and Yizhan continue to Yizhan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must admit, having a friend who eagerly asks for updates is probably the only reason why I'm so regular in updating :) I wanted to update yesterday, but I couldn't find the time to write, and I was unsure of how to end the chapter. At midnight(not kidding, actual midnight) I managed to cook up the perfect ending scene in my head, and then i wrote it out, so here it is!  
> A note: My OC, Jiang Lian, aka scum gong, appears here! Let's all say hello to the scum gong for his first appearance! There is no such real character in Joy of Life, but I'm putting Jiang Lian as one of the friends of the actor in Joy of Life, Li Shen. There are other few names mentioned from the cast too, just for setting.  
> just know that this fic in no way is an accurate representation of ANY of the actors mentioned except for their names. It's meant for entertainment, nothing else.
> 
> I bring many feels of Chen Qing Ling/MDZS, so listen to the playlist of The Untamed I've linked as you read!

[Youtube](https://youtu.be/zSKK0kRQLWY) (for desktop/laptop readers) and [saavn](https://www.jiosaavn.com/album/the-untamed-original-soundtrack/1Al9mrJfPxc_)(for phone readers)

As the seasons changed from winter to spring, The Untamed began shooting in full gear. The first couple of weeks were expected to be harder to shoot as all actors familiarized themselves with the script and their roles, however, this didn't seem to be the case for the main leads. Xiao Zhan, who, by all means was a rookie actor, still considered a very fresh face in this industry, was an unexpected treasure as he slipped into the role of Wei WuXian as easy as breathing. It was as if he knew just when to smile, when to pout, how to wave about his hands excitedly, how to handle the sword, he was quite a natural at this all. Even if one argued that his other drama, Joy of Life, gave him some experience with the period, there still remained the fact that Xiao Zhan was a master at showcasing just the right emotions.

They had planned on shooting the future arc in the beginning, so as to get a somewhat lighthearted atmosphere, seeing as how the past arc of MoDaoZuShi contained many painful scenes to shoot, which would give Xiao Zhan some time to get under the skin of Wei WuXian. Who could've predicted that this man had already shed his skin, like a snake, and put on Wei WuXian's robes a long time ago? 

As of Xiao Zhan, he only accepted each startled compliment with a bow and a smile, asking for advice and even scolding if he messed up anyhow. 

Then there was Wang YiBo. Where Xiao Zhan played the unrestrained, boisterous and even flamboyant Wei WuXian, Wang YiBo played a man whose face didn't shake even when faced with the worst storms and heartrending pain; yet this man had the emotional depth of a faraway ocean, obdurate in love like a mountain, but still flexible in morals. Wang YiBo would need some time to understand just who Lan Wangji was. What his unending devotion felt like, how could someone that hasn't even read about the character feel this? 

As it turned out, he could. 

_CQL Shooting- Scene: Lan Wangji meets the resurrected Wei WuXian at Mt Dafan_

The script was simple enough to read. The junior disciples of the Lan sect, when they understand the danger they are in, would send of a signal for help. The responder would be none other than an 'old acquaintance' of Wei WuXian, the esteemed HanGuangJun. 

Lan Wangji would come and just as he would step in to help the disciples, he would hear that age old melody that was close to his heart. He would be shocked, and even as he tried not to, hope would sprout in his heart, untamed and unruly as the man he'd composed the melody for. 

The winds of chaos would rush all around as Wei WuXian and Lan Wangji met again. Both would hide their actual emotions, Wangji because he was Wangji, and Wei WuXian because he was unwilling. 

With this short but detailed explanation with the two main leads, the director started the first take. 

Wei WuXian was tense as a prisoner just free from his bonds, but he managed to hide it beneath his veneer of shamelessness and lunacy. Just one chance was all he needed to set off into the dark night, away from the pesky nature of the sects and their disciples.

When the perfect time came to flee, this man, however, chose to stay back and help, simply because he could. He may have been notorious as the Yiling Laozu who murdered mercilessly, but legends are never so straightforward, he could not risk the life of those young Lans for his own safety.

Then came Wen Ning, tearing through stone and man alike. A gentle, timid soul at birth, now trapped in his own body that had become labelled as the 'ghost general' of the demonic cultivation patriarch.

How to calm the ravaged mind of a mindless corpse? What use would words be when appealing a beast that didn't understand them, nor care for them? Wei WuXian had no strength or cultivation to put himself in Wen Ning's path either.

So he played. He played a soothing melody that had been awakened amidst this panic, a melody he had no name for nor a time to place it into. Yet the notes were unforgettable, like a memory that lay just beneath his ribs, begging to be released, an emotion his heart had unknowingly shut the doors for. 

In the distance, a white robed cultivator looked upon the proceedings with an ashen face, the strings of his Wangji slightly shaking as his trembling fingers tried to calm them. This melody..........

Lan Wangji hesitated for the mere fraction of a second. That was all the time he could summon for feeling uncertain, so long had been their tearful parting. Thirteen long years filled with guilt, resentment, anger, self hatred, and love that refused to die like the last burning embers of a fire.

Thirteen long years filled with countless inquiries, now answered. The answer was here, yet it hid behind a curtain, an unrecognizable body. Still, even as Lan Wangji looked into the now dark grey eyes that were once like the silver blaze of the full moon, he knew it was the same person. 

Lan Wangji knew it was Wei WuXian, not just because of WangXian. He knew it in the way Wei WuXian spoke, always deviating and playing around. He always spoke too much, yet said so less. He knew it from the way Wei WuXian rubbed his nose when he was thoughtful. How he knew the rules of the Lan sect yet pretended he was too bored to learn. How he unconsciously twirled that audaciously made ridicule of a bamboo dizi, much like he'd once twirled another flute. He knew it from the familiar incessant tone of his, loud and harsh against Wangji's ears, but so, so soothing to his yearning soul. 

Lan Wangji knew, so he came. He heard all he had to. And then he took away Wei WuXian with him.

.

.

.

.

"CUT! ......Well, that was a fantastic scene! I don't even think we need any retakes for this scene, both Lan Wangji and Wei WuXian looked and acted exactly as they needed to! And so did our Juniors and Jiang Cheng, well done, you guys! We'll take a quick break before moving on to the next scene, it will be with the Wen sect this time!"

Wang YiBo and Xiao Zhan were shaken out of their reverie as the scene ended. They gave each other a small smile as they walked back to their resting rooms, silent as they peeled themselves away from the scene they had just acted.

"You two are quite amazing, you know? I feel like your energy as your characters is almost unmatched, the way you both slip into the role is awe-inspiring to watch, I felt like an outsider in that scene, if I'm being honest... I wonder if Jiang Cheng felt like this too, maybe that's why he's so grumpy all the time." Wang Zhuocheng chuckled as he fell into step with the two, and Qi Peixin, who had been on his phone, piped up, "Yeah, my Jiùjiu probably felt like his da-shixiong was stolen by Lan Wangji..... Maybe that's why you two always fight, Jiùjiu feels sad his shixiong is gone!" He had an amused smirk as he said it, but only received a deadpan look from Wang YiBo in turn. Xiao Zhan indulged him with a laugh as he put an arm around Wang Zhuocheng's shoulders, and said, "Is that so, shidi? Do you feel sad and jealous over Lan Zhan taking me away? Do you wish it was you, instead? You should have said so!"

"Ha-ha, very funny. Don't pay back my honest compliment with jest, Xiao Zhan! Anyway, all Jiang Cheng will do to Wei WuXian if he takes him back is whip him until he admits to being Wei WuXian... and then who knows.... Thank your lucky stars that I let Lan Wangji take you instead!" Wang Zhuocheng rolled his eyes and shrugged off the arm.

"Zhen* accepts this large vase of debt with great respect." Wang YiBo said in a dry tone, but his eyes were shining with laughter.

"Aiya, so cruel, Wang laoshi! Just now, Lan Wangji all but dragged Wei WuXian on Little Apple, now you call it as 'accepting me' as if I'm a suspicious pot of bad luck! What debt? What vase? tsk tsk, Lan Wangji and Wang YiBo are both the same, making such erstwhile promises, while saying such words!" Xiao Zhan looked pitiful as he pouted and sulked, almost like a young maiden who had her first love refuted. 

"Don't worry, both Lan Wangji and Wang YiBo are honest people, very true to their word, your Wei WuXian will be very happy, like a kept man of sorts. As for you, Zhan ge..... I already treat you well, don't I?" Wang YiBo spoke as if coaxing a sad puppy out of its sulk, even daring to pat on his head like one.

As these two were once again lost in their little snowglobe, Wang Zhuocheng and Qi Peixin shared a look over their heads.

"Yes, you treat Xiao Zhan veryyyyyy wellll..." Wang Zhuocheng and Qi Peixin intoned in a droll voice, making both Wang YiBo and Xiao Zhan look at them in a bemused manner.

"Of course Bo-Di treats me very well, he is such a nice guy....why do you say it so?" Xiao Zhan frowned. He completely missed the slight glimmer of happiness in Wang YiBo's eyes at his words, but the other two did not. "We were just agreeing, Xiao Zhan..... really, watching you two makes the single heart burn like anything! It's like Wei WuXian has possessed you, and Lan Wangji has possessed Wang YiBo, and now we get to witness this story come alive... not just onscreen."

Before any more words could be exchanged, however, Xiao Zhan was called over by his manager to discuss the schedule for tomorrow, seeing how he still had some filming for Joy of Life left over. So with a sigh, he excused himself from the conversation, but his thoughts still lingered on it. Xiao Zhan was self aware enough to know how easily he had put on his character's shoes, though he made no attempt to try and NG, simply because this was supposed to be his second chance, no point in wasting time trying to do things the same this time over.

Even though he had been scared of changing too much and ending in the same devastating position, Xiao Zhan found that spending time on the sets of A-Ling, reuniting with the people who had been a huge part of his old life, meeting Wang YiBo all over again and just staying with him had a positive influence in banishing such thoughts of fear. As long as he played his cards safely enough and avoided people who had inadvertently led him to his downfall last time, he could lead a peaceful and fulfilling life. He wanted to give his shattered relationship with Wang Yibo a chance again. He had a fresh slate to start with, he couldn't push YiBo away again like how he had the last time things went wrong, that would put all the efforts of whoever had given him this new life to waste.

With this plan in mind, Xiao Zhan set off for the sets of Joy for Life the next morning. He only had a few more scenes left before he could fully focus on A-Ling, and he was determined to see them through. A major reason for this was not the drama itself, but who it had brought him in contact with. Li Shen was a coactor of his on the sets of Joy for Life, and although Li Shen himself was a good actor and a good acquaintance to Xiao Zhan, Li Shen had another friend whom Xiao Zhan wished to avoid on all costs. 

This friend was none other than Jiang Lian, someone who Xiao Zhan had ended up dating post his disastrous break up with Wang YiBo, who had also betrayed Xiao Zhan. In his old life, Xiao Zhan had first met Jiang Lian on the sets of Joy for Life, through Li Shen, and they had remained good friends past the shoot, all through Chen Qing Ling and even beyond that. Jiang Lian had been the first to know about Xiao Zhan's feelings for Wang YiBo, and he had been the one who had discouraged Xiao Zhan to try and mend their relationship when it had turned sour due to Xiao Zhan distancing himself both physically and emotionally, too afraid of all the scandal he'd brought in. Jiang Lian had reaffirmed Xiao Zhan's insecurities as he advised him not to carry on with YiBo, and just months later, when they had barely moved past the pandemic, Jiang Lian had kissed Xiao Zhan in a drunken stupor, thus beginning the affair that later ended Xiao Zhan's life.

As he reflected over all his actions and all the words Jiang Lian had once said to him, Xiao Zhan couldn't help but feel that he'd mistook a snake for a swan, letting himself get swept up in Jiang Lian's easy friendship and ended up losing out on a precious person in his life. At the time of his death, there had been no Jiang Lian to comfort, only Wang YiBo's panicked concerns.

Xiao Zhan couldn't be bothered to keep on wondering just when had Jiang Lian's affections for him turned sour. All he wanted was to stay away from that man, after all, he was a man burnt many times by being too close to fire. He needed to be careful. With these thoughts, he carefully but meticulously finished his scenes for Joy of Life, maintaining a healthy enough distance with Li Shen and Jiang Lian so as not to draw attention to himself.

When Jiang Lian finally confronted him about his newfound reticence, it was done in a rather inconvenient place. Lunch breaks were the only time when all the cast was together, and the only time one would be able to talk to Xiao Zhan on the sets these days, as the man had been making himself scarce. Jiang Lian, with his usual casual friendliness, approached Xiao Zhan, who was sitting on a single table, idly browsing his weibo as he ate, and clapped his back, as he said, "Xiao Zhan! Why are you sitting here all alone, join us, we can all make more space, right? Or at least let me join you, it's been forever since we talked."

Xiao Zhan thought for a second as he debated. He concluded that sitting alone with a snake was more dangerous, he could still smoothen any troublesome things out in the face of some company, and nodded, picking his lunch up as he said, "Sure, why not?"

Li Shen quickly waved the two over and they sat down on a table with Karina Zhou, Li Shen, Liu Hua and Li Xiao Ran. Xiao Zhan sat between Li Shen and Li Xiao Ran, politely greeted them all, silently finishing his lunch as he only spoke up occasionally to interject in a conversation. Due to him Li Shen between them, it was naturally harder for Xiao Zhan and Jiang Lian to interact one to one, and the rest of his lunch passed normally enough. 

Jiang Lian liked Xiao Zhan, but they were both still young actors. Jiang Lian had big dreams and ambitions, and in his last life, Xiao Zhan clearly remembered how quick the stream of messages had begun from Jiang Lian as A-Ling became a hit. Jiang Lian and Xiao Zhan had only been acquaintances that could be called friendly till that point, and his friendship had only deepened post Xiao Zhan's success as an actor. He hadn't made the connection back then, but now that he did, he couldn't unsee it. It was coupled with other facts- every time Xiao Zhan hit a career obstacle, Jiang Lian would somewhat distance himself, never come over to his apartment as he gave out reasons like 'he was worried for Xiao Zhan and wished to see him very much, but if those pesky reporters saw him, he'd only end up making more trouble for Xiao Zhan, can't help this'. It wasn't something outright fake, reporters loved to dig a pot of muck from barren land, but then again, Jiang Lian didn't even bother to text or call, citing reasons of being incessantly busy filming. Once, when Xiao Zhan sent a screenshot of Jiang Lian cozying up to a model at a party when he had rejected Xiao Zhan's call on the pretext of work, that bold faced man had only said that he was forced to do such socializing by his company, what can he do, ba, you already know how bad companies can get with such things, how could I tell you the truth in that loud place with booming music, you had a headache, it would make you feel worse, so I cut your call, can't you forgive me this slight, Zhan Zhan?

Now, Xiao Zhan felt like he was a violin whose strings had been played until they snapped by Jiang Lian, worst of all, this violin needed rebirth to reflect back and realise all of this. With such memories still fresh in his mind, Xiao Zhan had no desire to extend any friendly gestures towards Jiang Lian. 

As for Jiang Lian, a pretty face was indeed good, but only if it can feed you, no point in chasing a tree which will bear no fruit. Li Xiao Ran would be a better choice in this aspect. Of course, Jiang Lian had no clue that Xiao Zhan was working on The Untamed, he hadn't told anyone after all. By the time he would come to know, he would very much regret his words of a barren tree, but that regret is as useless as watering a field in the midst of rain showers, carrying water to the sea.

☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

Like a sunflower blooming on a summer morning, Xiao Zhan departed from the sets of Joy of Life and turned towards Chen Qing Ling. The travel time was truly exhausting, just like it had been in his first life, but Xiao Zhan couldn't help but be relieved and happy. Relieved, because Jiang Lian had decided to leave him alone. Happy, because Wang YiBo had just texted him.

_Bo-Di_

_One Lan Zhan, for Wei Ying._

_heard you were coming back on set today. This is my welcome back present_

_how is it, Ge?_

_did you like it?_

_Ge its already morning, why are you sleeping_

_Ahhhh, thats right, Xiao Laoshi must use his sleep to restore his everlasting beauty_

_text me when you get here Ge_

Xiao Zhan grinned at his phone. Truly, this brat would be the end of him, how could he manage to be sweet, impatient and mischievous, all in one go? Chuckling as he looked up, he saw that they were quite close to reaching the location, he smiled wider, before sending a small reply back and shutting off his phone.

_Xiao Zhan_

_One Xiao Zhan, for Wang YiBo_

_see you soon, Bo-Di._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!  
> BTW, Zhen* is an ancient way of saying 'I' in Chinese, used by Emperors to refer to themselves. Nobody uses it today, it's mostly used in webnovels as a comic effect or even in proverbs or if it's a historical drama, then by Emperors, of course. Wang YiBo is saying it to emphasize his self as someone important, carrying a huge burden on his shoulders(lol, like Xiao Zhan could ever be) the vase/pot of bad luck/debt..... You may have heard of similar terms in webnovels/manhua/manga! Hope this explains!


	5. We put the ily in family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiao Zhan gets closer to his co-stars   
> and falls in love all over again.... But does YiBo feel the same?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mental health has been quite affected these days, and when I wrote a chapter for TTMY last Sunday... It just got deleted.... Without any back up...... Ahhhh it hurt so much...... Ever since then, things have gone a little downhill for me, I haven't had any creative inspiration... But I had to write and post something today! After all, it's the one year anniversary of A-Ling, so you guys deserve some more YiZhan fluff 🤭 I'm trying to build up YiZhan's relationship whilst their shooting CQL, because the next arc will be filled with angst :'( I hope this chapter makes up for me missing an update last week!

The summer was on in full swing, and the heat was slowly seeping in through everyone's defences, leaving them exhausted as they underwent long filming hours in heavy flowing costumes and long wigs. 

Xiao Zhan would like to say that he was more used to the tight wig this time around, but the damn thing was just as irritating the second time around. All of them were professionals, however, and the cast of ChenQingLing didn't suffer from actors throwing tantrums as they all genuinely liked each other and enjoyed filming this drama.

Xiao Zhan had found himself interacting with his co actors longer than he had in his first life. To his surprise, he got along well with Cao YuChen, Jin Zixuan's actor, as both of them enjoyed similar tastes in music and had good vocals to boot, which meant a lot of impromptu karaoke scenes in between shoots. Sometimes, they would be joined in by Yu Bin and Ji Li, and then it would just turn into a comedy fest as Ji Li tried to rap faster than Yu Bin and all four would collapse into laughter. 

Xuan Lu jie was just as sweet and kind as she'd always been, and Xiao Zhan honestly cherished the times they spent together. In his first life, he'd lost contact with her as well as all the other friends he'd made owing to his turbulent career and personal life, and he was determined not to lose these people this time around. 

Wang Hao Xuan was a surprising new friend he'd somehow managed to make, he had known the boy to be a bit mischievous, but quite shy too, as he'd been pretty much a rookie when they'd started filming. When the time came to shoot the Yi City arc, Xiao Zhan found himself talking a lot and exchanging many tips about acting with Wang Hao Xuan. 

In his first life, post his first scandal, Xiao Zhan had managed to land a role as an antagonist in a movie that had brought him to the top of the charts yet again. That movie was _Stolen son._

_☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾_

_._

_._

The plot of _Stolen son_ was straightforward enough yet filled with intense moral debates. It was set in a dystopian future, where humanity had finally managed to exhaust all its resources and the crime rates had touched the sky and shot into space. The social hierarchy was harsh, with only two classes: the uber rich comprising of those in the military and politicians and the rest of the population, who fought for the bare minimum. Politicians could easily pick up anyone and bring them into the fold of the government, safeguarding their own wealth under the pretense of protecting the remaining natural resources for the people. 

In such a troubled world, there could be only villains and sufferers, no heroes. However, kindness was not completely eradicated from our mental systems yet, and there was a doctor, officially only responsible for taking care of the treatment of high ranking government officials; who sneaked out medicines and occasionally treated the commoners at no fees. Such a kind young doctor had married a fellow government official who had shared his sympathies, and together they'd started a mini rebel group that slowly gained many followers. 

Unfortunately, on the day that the rebel group planned their coup against the government, it was discovered and promptly squashed, with the good doctor and his wife being shot to death. With the head being cut off, the body naturally collapsed. What no one foresaw, however, was that the couple had had one newborn baby, their son, who had been left behind in safe quarters as the couple attempted the coup. 

This child was a secret delivery, and post the death of the parents, was taken in by none other than a tyrannical, high ranking officer of the government's inner circle. 

He grew up with all the luxuries and prejudices of the uber rich, only to face the cruel truth of the world he'd been brought into. The shock came after he'd already committed multiple atrocities against innocent citizens, as he realised who his real parents were. This shock caused him to develop a split persona, an easily triggered vigilante with a skewed sense of reality; only dark and light, nothing in between. He would save anyone he deemed was being oppressed, however, his treatment of the oppressed was as cold as someone letting a cockroach live because they couldn't bother to kill it. He'd whip and lash his servants during the day if they erred in the slightest, but sneak out and find people to protect on the weekends.

Such a character was played by Xiao Zhan, and this role had exhausted almost all his energies as an actor, as he underwent a constant 180° twist in his personality, combined with underlined debates on his own moral principles and which side of the spectrum of good and evil he lied upon, whether someone's birth provides them with innate morality and kindness or are kindness and compassion a learnt values, to be cultivated in us after our birth. 

It was a short but intense movie, and had been an international success, bringing Xiao Zhan in touch with critically acclaimed actors and directors. 

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☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

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Wang Hao Xuan was someone who admired the acting profession, much like Xiao Zhan. They both enjoyed the feeling of being on set and contributing to bringing a good story to life by their acting. 

When it came to acting as a hated yet sympathized with character like Xue Yang, Xiao Zhan had a lot to teach to Wang Hao Xuan, having done a role like it in his first life. 

"So you think Xue Yang is someone who can be sympathized with? That's unusual, most people would hate him outright for all the pain he made everyone go through." Wang Hao Xuan pointed out as they relaxed, waiting for the set backgrounds to be set up. 

"Yeah, he caused grief and not just eradicated an entire sect, but also destroyed the lives of innocent people like A-Qing, Xiao XingChen and Song Lan, how can one possibly feel sorry for him?" said Chen Zhuo Xuan, A-Qing's actress. 

"True, he caused too much grief over his one finger being cut off by an arrogant sect member. However, you have to look at Xue Yang's childhood as well. He grew up on the streets, a life no one here can imagine. One can say that the primary motive any street child would have is protecting themselves and surviving. The second is escaping those harsh conditions and finding a better life. For us, Xue Yang killing off a whole sect for his one finger is too cruel. But keep in mind, this child has never had a kind figure to lean on his whole life: he's only seen cruelty and would probably feel that whatever he suffers, he should return tenfold. So for him, everyone should pay for his one finger. As for the things he did to Xiao XingChen and Song Lan.... By that point, I don't think Xue Yang was mentally fit to be called a normal civilian, he'd clearly already had a taste for killing and treachery. Sometimes, even one person's kindness towards you cannot cancel the hurt you've been hurled at all your life." Xiao Zhan said, lost in the memories of a life gone by. 

There was silence for a prolonged moment as Xiao Zhan shook himself of the memories of a past that had not happened yet, only to look at the slightly stunned faces of Wang Hao Xuan and Chen Zhuo Xuan. 

"What is it? Did I perhaps say something too obscure to understand?" Xiao Zhan asked.

Wang Hao Xuan shook his head and said, "No, I was just a bit awed.... I hadn't thought of that perspective when I went through my script.... I knew Cue Yang would be a hard character to play as his actions, though detestable, somehow manage contradict his feelings, but what you just said made a lot of sense to me. I'm really awed by you, Xiao Xiansheng, you really have a talent for getting under a character's skin!" Wang Hao Xuan grinned at him, and Xiao Zhan simply bowed and thanked him, because honestly, this was the product of years of experience, not some innate talent he was born with. 

An all too familiar voice chimed from behind him, "Of course Xiao Laoshi is very talented, his acting skills truly put us all in the dust! Xiao Laoshi, this humble Wang YiBo asks for your teaching lessons too, won't you lend this one some knowledge too?" 

Xiao Zhan turned around to meet a grinning Wang YiBo, his words might come off as a little mocking but the look on his face was sincere. Even he had been surprised at the well thought out answer Xiao Zhan had given; and he had been constant witness to how well Xiao Zhan could act all along. 

Still, Xiao Zhan couldn't help but tease him, "Ayyy, what dust? Surely everyone here knows Wang YiBo to be the superior actor, he must play the role of Lan Wangji who hides his thudding heart behind those dead fish eyes.... Wang YiBo, once this drama airs, you'll get so many hot trend searches for those burning looks you keep sending Wei WuXian, just you wait!" Xiao Zhan cackled as he grinned at Wang YiBo.

"Still can't compare to Zhan-ge's youthful charm and sexy maturity as he plays Wei WuXian! Ah, your hot search will probably be 'Xiao Zhan ChenQing in ChenQingLing' as you keep twirling that dizi.Such skills! This one could never!" Wang YiBo gestured to his flute with a gremlin smile, eyes narrowed in glee. 

"I see it has started!" Xiao Zhan exclaimed, before turning around to Wang Hao Xuan and Chen Zhuo Xuan as he said, "Wang YiBo, his sweet guy, he is so talented yet so humble, can't ever take a compliment from this Gege, always has to repay with a bigger compliment! Whatever shall we do now?" 

"Zhan Ge is the true talent, the rest of us are fake food ah" Wang YiBo piped up, never one to stay quiet. 

"Would the two very talented Xiao Zhan and Wang YiBo please join us on set? The Yi City arc needs to start, you two! Or else we'll never finish shooting and no one will see just how talented our cast is!" The director called out loudly from his microphone in a fondly exasperated tone, startling all four actors as they scrambled up from their chairs and rushed to film. 

Thus their days passed, with non stop barrages of rainbow farting sessions between the two main leads and many more in depth discussions between all of them. The sets of Chen Qing Ling had begun to feel less like strangers gathered to shoot together and more like a large dysfunctional family that was goofing off half the time and role playing a drama the other half. 

With all of them getting so close, the production team had loads of BTS to film, and by the time half the shooting was over, they had more than enough content to feed the netizens for a whole year. 

There had been many memorable incidents as the cast passed their hot summer shooting days. One day, Xiao Zhan and Yu Bin had teamed up to play as many pranks as they could, even chasing Cao YuChen and Wang YiBo around with fake caterpillars they had managed to make, until the two jumped into the lake to get away from the scheming duo. They'd changed Zhu ZanJin's beloved sunscreen for an air horn, which had led to him screaming louder than the air horn somehow, and then chasing them both all over set. 

It was probably easier for him to kill Wei WuXian after that incident..... Not that he hadn't gotten his revenge against Xiao Zhan. He'd gone for the traditional fart pillow prank, and like an idiot, Xiao Zhan had fallen for it, although Yu Bin managed to avoid it and unluckily enough, Wang Zhuo Cheng had to suffer for him. 

Wang YiBo had pouted and sulked for a good two hours post the caterpillar prank, and that was after he'd chased Xiao Zhan to playfully punch and beat him up. It took Xiao Zhan coaxing him with too many sincere sorrys and promises of "I won't ever do it again", along with some truly cringy cute faces, for him to finally forgive Xiao Zhan. 

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☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

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Then came a day when Xuan Lu jie took an interview of Xiao Zhan and Wang YiBo together, and of course Wang YiBo had to behave like a naughty child and interrupt the interview with his gremlin like self. 

"Yes, let's start with the tan one! You there, come on, get up!" Xuan Lu jie said, coming towards Xiao Zhan.

"Ah, you're such an embarrassment. The lighting here is so bad!" Xiao Zhan teased.

"Where do you want to be, then?" Xuan Lu shot back, before looking at Wang YiBo who had gotten up too, and said, "Ah, wait for your turn, Lan WangJi." 

"Lan Wangji here is ready to create trouble." Xiao Zhan poked him with a smile.

"No, I'm not" Wang YiBo laughed.

"So without further ado, we shall begin the interview! Xiao Zhan, Wei WuXian, introduce yourself please." 

Ignoring the calls of "Zhan Ge" from Wang YiBo besides him, Xiao Zhan introduced himself.

"Hello, I'm Xiao Zhan who plays Wei WuXian and I'm quite shy today." 

"What a lie, you're never shy" Xuan Lu jie teased him.

They bantered back and forth as she asked him about his heavy costume and how tan he'd gotten. 

"Zhan ge I love you!" Wang YiBo said loudly.

Throughout the interview, Wang YiBo kept on interjecting in between, which led to Xuan Lu exasperatedly turning to him and saying, "Ah Lao Wang seems very eager to talk, now let us interview him instead! Everyone, say bye to Xiao Zhan! And say hello to Wang YiBo!"

"Hello, please introduce yourself!"

"Hello, I'm Wang YiBo, playing Lan Wangji" 

"Ah, this is the first time you're playing a period drama character, how do you feel?" Xuan Lu jie asked.

"The wig was hard to adjust to, but now my eyes have adjusted to it." Wang YiBo said, hands pulled behind his back.

"You're also filming many action scenes this time around, how do you feel?" Xuan Lu jie prompted.

"Awesome! Yayy! I like the hanging wires!" Wang YiBo said loudly on the cue of the cameraman. 

"Everyone, Wang YiBo seems very aloof and cool, but he's quite the playful young kid type, he even likes riding a motorcycle. Don't judge him from this interview alone please, you have to see how he acts with Xiao Zhan around, it's a slapstick comedy with these two! All our actors have been working very hard in this heat, so we hope this drama pleases you! Thank you" Xuan Lu jie said and ended the short interview. 

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☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

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After that, they moved on to shoot the next few scenes, but throughout the shoot, Xiao Zhan's mind remained on Xuan Lu jie's words. "you have to see how he acts with Xiao Zhan around". 

The thing was, Xiao Zhan had no idea just when and why Wang YiBo had started liking him. He knew that Wang YiBo had warmed up to him pretty quickly and they'd enjoyed being close as friends before they got into a relationship in his first life. But he had no idea when Wang YiBo had crossed that line from friendship to love.

Worse still, he had no clue how to approach Wang YiBo this time around, after hurting him with his actions the first time. 

Xiao Zhan wasn't sure if he should try and express his feelings, much less if he should even try to go forward with his relationship. Wang YiBo had suffered enough from Xiao Zhan's half hearted and cowardly self once, he didn't deserve to be put through it again. 

Yet Xiao Zhan yearned, oh how he yearned. The days he'd spent with Wang YiBo were some of his fondest memories, both past and present. His heart still stuttered and stumbled at every smile and cheerful look Wang YiBo shot him with. He had once seen that very smile crumble and crash as he proposed a break up. He'd seen those deep set eyes filled with anguish, anger, and emptiness as Xiao Zhan pulled himself away, leaving him alone. 

Now, he was far away from that time, that moment was like a flower in a dream, only real in his mind.

Did this Wang YiBo love him? 

Did Xiao Zhan deserve his love? 

Should he try to deserve his love, to prove himself worthy of Wang YiBo?

Xiao Zhan was only certain of one thing.

He loves Wang YiBo.

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☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I've been feeling quite depressed these days ...but I'm working and studying to keep the anxiety and dark feelings away. I love reading all your comments, they really give me smiles ☺️ on sad days. To the person that read the original webnovel this is based on, I hope you enjoyed Bai Lang and Qiu Qian's story, and I promise to make YiZhan's even more interesting for you! Also, everyone who has said that they liked the flow of this story, and how Xiao Zhan should treat WYB better this time around, don't worry! We'll make our BJYX happy together!


	6. For you, I would re-write our fates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey.. hehe... I'm alive! Is it cheating if I change the publish date to pretend I posted on WYB's bday? *whistles innocently*  
> Our boys just keep falling.... in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty points and a special heart from me to who ever guesses which song I am using as background music(before reading my ending note)

> _I shall give my life for you_.

Character + Actor names in case you guys forget

Xiao Zhan = Wei WuXian  
Wang YiBo = Lan WangJi  
Liu HaiKuan = Lan XiChen  
Paul YuBin = Wen Ning  
Cao YuChen = Jin ZiXuan  
Wang YiZhou = Nie Mingjue  
Meng ZiYi- Wen Qing

☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

Xiao Zhan was very relaxed. The shooting schedule was just as intense as before, if not more, however, you could say he was already used to doing this. Hence, this was all very nostalgic for him. However, he still felt that certain events which he believed to be set in stone were already changing. For one, the whole cast had become a strong familial unit, which had happened in his first life too, just not so soon or so strong. He wasn’t one to complain, he loved interacting with all his co actors. The first time around, Xiao Zhan had ended up losing contact after getting involved with Jiang Lian and his own circle of friends, not to mention Xiao Zhan’s own turbulent career. He knew he had to be careful this time around. The whole boycotting incident had left many emotional scars. For Xiao Zhan, who had been a relatively small time actor and singer before Chen Qing Ling, the intense hate he’d felt had been too much to bear, not even taking into account that a pandemic had begun in his hometown. He’d been living happily before that, his days filled with texts and calls with Wang Yibo. Then the first call came in, as his manager cautiously explained what had happened, and suddenly, Xiao Zhan couldn’t breathe anymore.

_I don’t know anymore than you  
I know you as my identity  
You are the one I have considered as mine, my sweetheart._

Back then, if he had said something, if he had bothered to pay more attention to the things passed off under his name, would things have really changed? Xiao Zhan had thought over such questions endlessly through that long summer. Two summers had had immense influence on the stream of Xiao Zhan’s life: The one when he met Wang Yibo, and the one where he lost Wang Yibo. Xiao Zhan found himself being overly conscious and afraid of even breathing wrong post the second summer. To think that even his erstwhile gaze, his hand movements, could so easily be misconstrued and scrutinized, to the point that thousands of fans suddenly hated his name was a chilling thought indeed. Wang Yibo had argued, consoled, and pleaded alike for Xiao Zhan to regain his lost courage. He had assured Xiao Zhan with the air of someone who had braved the industry for years, told him to ignore those haters and focus on him, that they would move on once they found new things to yap about, but to no avail. All because Xiao Zhan had chosen to trust the voice that constantly scolded him, that voice which later manifested in the gentle disapproval of Wang Yibo’s words through Jiang Lian’s mouth.

Looking back on it now made Xiao Zhan want to slap the heck out of his past self. How could he just refuse to listen to Wang Yibo’s solid and faithful support and instead lean on that hollow, fake shoulder that Jiang Lian oh-so-graciously provided? Xiao Zhan had no answer other than drowning so deep in his own sorrows, that he’d forgotten that Wang Yibo was in danger too. He was supposed to be the older one, the mature one, yet when the storm came, he carelessly disregarded Wang Yibo’s precarious position as he tried his best to take care of Xiao Zhan. Sneaking under the radar, fighting with his managers and company, Wang Yibo had fought for their love whilst Xiao Zhan let it flicker out like a candle flame.

Xiao Zhan’s breath hitched as he flinched at his thoughts, eyes burning with the onslaught of tears. Here he was, enjoying a second chance at life, shamelessly bantering with his friends and his once lover, like he hadn’t callously broken his heart once. Yet, all those events had not happened in this reality. Xiao Zhan had determined that he would lead a peaceful and happy life this time around, but when it came to Wang Yibo, he always paused.

_I have no other desire than you.  
Wherever I walk to, I bump into you.  
For you, I journey.  
Without you? Where should I go?_

**_I don’t know any more than you_ **

**_I don’t even know you anymore._ **

**_You are the face in my nightmares,_ **

**_Your siren calls in my dreams blare._ **

**_Yet your smile is my sweetest dawn,_ **

**_Beside this frozen lake,_ **

**_I watch you, your hidden swan._ **

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☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

****

He wanted so bad to hold on to Yibo’s hand, to walk beside him, to wake up to his side, to eat with him, to lie with him, to live with him. He knew he loved Yibo, that knowledge was one thing he was firm about. He did not know if he deserved to go after Yibo’s heart as he had once, but he swore to himself he would never let Yibo suffer the brunt of his desire or indecision anymore.

His swirling thoughts were disturbed by a pat on his shoulder, and he looked up to see the concerned gaze of Liu Haikuan. “Xiao Zhan? Are you okay? You looked so far away for a minute there…..” he trailed off, before seating himself next to him.

“Ah, of course, of course, I’m sorry. I was just lost in thoughts… got too involved in the scene, I guess!” Xiao Zhan laughed, hoping he wouldn’t hear the faint crack in his voice.

“If you say so. You know, while I find it very admirable how intensely you imagine and analyse the characters, if it’s enough to make you cry like this, perhaps you should take a break. Acting doesn’t just mean doing justice to the character, but also knowing when to pull back from the story.” Haikuan said in his usual calm tone, and Xiao Zhan hesitantly nodded along.

“Say…. What do you think of Wei Wuxian suddenly being dropped in the middle of things, thirteen years after his death? I mean, the script doesn’t focus on his feelings and neither does the novel, but doesn’t it feel too easily brushed off? I mean, for Wei Wuxian, just seconds ago, he plunges himself to death amid a siege. Then he’s roaming as a shattered soul, with no voice or coherent thought, then he’s kicked awake to being alive again. Isn’t that… too frightening?” Xiao Zhan asked, hoping Liu Haikuan would play along despite advising him to pull back from his character.

Liu Haikuan hummed as he considered the sudden question, and then said, “I think you are right, that would be confusing, disorienting and very frightening, as you put it. Perhaps it is a good thing that Wei Wuxian was not afraid of death, because dying and then suddenly coming alive to an entirely different world sounds quite scary….”

Xiao Zhan nodded strongly. “Right! I just…. It sounds….. I don’t know, why didn’t anyone acknowledge it? Like, they knew he came back after thirteen years, and not even in his own body or willingly! Yet no one really…. cared….”

“Maybe because that’s not the point of the novel, is it? I understand that it would be horrifying to wake up in a state like that, but the novel is about Wei Wuxian’s new life, his second chance. It is about correcting the facts that the prologue states about him, they are all rumours that plague his name, right? Moreover, it’s about his Lan Zhan and a whole bunch of murders and cunning sects. The novel is about life, not death, is it? And while everything is intricately connected to events that happened thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian is more focused on solving them and moving on with this life.” Liu Haikuan said, and watched as Xiao Zhan’s face took on an increasingly stunned and understanding expression, lips parted to express his shock mutely.

“I’m really going to give the title of A-Ling’s Laozu to Xiao Zhan, at this point. Five out of ten times I find him, he’s obsessing over the script enough to shame the director! And now he roped you in too! Xiao Zhan, really, leave some smarts for us to pick up!” Yubin’s teasing voice came from behind, startling both men from their quiet thoughts.

Xiao Zhan flashed a small, shy smile as he sheepishly said, “Ah, Yubin, stop teasing, I beg you. I just tend to get lost in the story at times. Don’t you too?”

“Not as much as you, Xiao Laozu.” Yubin’s eyes glimmered with mischief.

“He’s lying, he was heatedly debating with Zhu Zanjin and Wang Yizhou the other day about who’s worse: Wen Ruohan’s murder happy behaviour or Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian’s horrible parenting.” Cao Yuchen’s voice chimed in as he strolled over to sit in front of them.

“Well look at that, who’s the Laozu now, huh?” Xiao Zhan poked Yubin’s side with his elbow as Haikuan laughed out loud next to him.

“Still you! It is decreed by the high order, can’t argue.” Yubin caught his elbow, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

“What high order is this now?” Xiao Zhan asked, eyebrows furrowed.

The three men exchanged glances amongst themselves, looking at Xiao Zhan with barely concealed grins. “Hey, fess up now, c’mon! What high order?” Xiao Zhan poked Liu Haikuan in the arm.

“Wang Yibo’s orders.” Liu Haikuan said, grinning widely. “Yeah, Wang Yibo, who is Xiao Laozu’s biggest fan, the expert on all things Xiao Zhan, has declared that Xiao Zhan is the best actor on set, throws us all to shame, we can’t even compare to the mole on Xiao Laozu’s face, he’s the most precious, most esteemed, prettiest gege in Hengdian, built in ChongQing-“ Yubin prattled off even as Xiao Zhan covered his mouth with his hands, face on fire. Liu Haikuan tried and failed t suppress his chuckles whilst Cao Yuchen and Paul Yubin laughed raucously, entirely unrepentant at Xiao Zhan’s flustered self.

“What in the world are you saying? Aiyah, that brat, I can’t believe he said that; has he been going around saying that, oh my god, how many people has he said this to? No, wait, how many people have _you_ said this to? Yubin, answer me, _now!_ ” Xiao Zhan said frantically, fully ready to go bury himself in the ground somewhere.

“Let him free first, how will he answer you with you on top of him and shutting him up like that?” Liu Haikuan teased, looking at Xiao Zhan practically squishing Yubin’s mouth in.

Xiao Zhan sighed but let go, sitting up properly to give Yubin his best stern look that had no effect on him, before saying, “Explain.”

“Well, it wasn’t all at once, it’s just a compilation one of the staff made of his rainbow farts for you. Menq ZiYi managed to get her hands on it and posted it on one of our food groups. You aren’t on it, so you haven’t seen it yet, but it’s hilarious!” Yubin chuckled.

“Surely the staff won’t post such stuff, right? They can’t, we’ll be seen as too arrogant, I mean, c’mon, what even are those praises, so ridiculous….” Xiao Zhan puffed his lips as he thought over it.

“Maybe they won’t, I mean, they already have plenty of material to post, so perhaps you’ll be spared.” Cao Yuchen said, shrugging. Then he paused, before smirking and saying, “Not that that will actually spare you, what with the spectacle you and Wang Yibo usually make…”

“We don’t make a spectacle! We just play around a little, but hey, we’re supposed to work together, how will we show how close Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are if we, their actors, aren’t even a little friendly?” Xiao Zhan said, hoping to come off as rational.

“Sure, of course you’re right.” Liu Haikuan said placatingly. 

“It doesn’t sound like you actually agree, you know.” Xiao Zhan narrowed his eyes at him.

“Relax Xiao Zhan, we’re just teasing you. It’s a great thing actually, how well you get along. Or more like, you pamper Wang Yibo.” Liu Haikuan said.

“Me? How do I pamper Wang Yibo? I treat him no different than I treat you…” Xiao Zhan received three disbelieving, deadpan looks.

“What! Come on, I don’t pamper him!” Xiao Zhan exclaimed.

“Sure, you just cater to him. Just like you do to the rest of us. Which is why Yibo has unlimited access to your green tea, your portable fan, your snacks and you even bought those knee pads for him last week. Speaking of which, I would really like a portable fan too, Xiao Zhan.” Cao Yuchen said.

“Ask your manager to buy one, then. Anyway, how does that count as catering? It’s normal. Yibo doesn’t eat and drink properly, so what if he drinks some tea, he is young, he has to take care of his health. Have you felt the heat here? I curse Wei Wuxian daily for wearing black, Yibo can’t handle so much heat and doesn’t even hydrate properly, of course I’d share my fan. And he’s a dancer, have you seen those stunts he performs? Yubin, you know how dangerous those can be, what if he gets injured, there’s no shame in wearing knee pads, I tell him, but he pouts at me for being old, so I bought him a few just in case.” Xiao Zhan said, mind going back to the incident in question.

_“Yibo, didn’t you say you plan on skateboarding this weekend? Make sure to wear knee pads, okay? You’ll get hurt otherwise.” Xiao Zhan said, looking pointedly at Yibo. He still remembered how Yibo used to remain unbothered about injuries._

_“Zhan ge, only old people wear those.”_

_“I wear those. So I’m an old man, I get it.” Xiao Zhan said dryly._

_Yibo’s eyes widened as he looked a little sheepish at Xiao Zhan’s words. “Zhan ge… I may not have time to buy those….”_

_“Then here. I have a few spare ones, anyway, make sure to use them! You’re a dancer, Wang Yibo, you must take special care especially when you are still young, or it will be too late after you grow old like me.” Xiao Zhan hands him the pack of knee pads, Yibo accepting them after a momentary pause._

_“Zhan ge’s not old.” The response was so familiar to his ears, he just smiled at Yibo._

_“Sure, sure, let’s say that.”_

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the silence of his surroundings. Yubin and Yuchen looked stunned while Liu Haikuan looked a little too knowing.

His chance to say anything was lost as they got called for their make-up.

“Zhan ge, you’re awake now, right? You better be awake!” Yibo’s voice came from outside of his door, knocks impossible to ignore.

“Yibo……? What in the world are you doing here?” Xiao Zhan said as he opened the door. There stood Wang Yibo, dressed up in a comfortable jeans and white shirt paired with a soft-looking hoodie, hair freshly washed and face bare. He beamed at Xiao Zhan as he tugged him out of the door, saying, “Come on, ge, or we’ll be late!”

“Come on? Late? Wang Yibo, what are you saying, have you gone mad, where are you dragging me, god, Wang Yibo, explain!” Xiao Zhan tried to stall and protest.

“No time for rest, ge! Just hop on and come with me!”

“Hop on? But _where?!”_ Xiao Zhan asked, exasperated. One of his questions was answered as Yibo pulled up his skateboard, which had been leaning against a wall, easily jumping on it before offering a hand to Xiao Zhan.

Xiao Zhan simply folded his hands across his chest, glaring at Yibo. “Bo-Di, you have a minute to explain what is going on before I leave. Now, please, tell me what are you up to, you gremlin? You’re supposed to be resting for tomorrow’s long shoot! _I’m_ supposed to be resting!”

“You’re being kidnapped, that’s what.” Was all he got before Wang Yibo, that absolute _gremlin,_ simply plucked him off the ground by his waist, like he weighed nothing more than a bunch of grapes, settled him on the skateboard and sped off like the maniac he was. Xiao Zhan could do nothing but squeak and hold on to Yibo, praying they didn’t crash. Were two people even allowed to ride on one skateboard??!

Once they somehow reached the ground floor ( Yibo hadn’t stopped even as they approached the lift, instead there was a smiling Liu Haikuan there, who opened the lift doors for Yibo to slide in, very _dangerously_ ), he found Yubin standing next to the lift door, and Yibo dropped off his skateboard with him, pinning him with a glare as he did. “Please keep this _carefully_ in my room, many thanks.”

“Sure, sure, little old me could never harm your precious, don’t worry! Enjoy your night out, Xiao Zhan!” Yubin waved them off with a grin.

“Night out? Wang Yibo, will you just _tell_ me what’s going on? I’ll still go along with your craziness, just tell me, why don’t you?” Xiao Zhan tugged at Yibo’s hand, intertwined with his own.

“Told you, ge. You’re being kidnapped. By zhen. Now shush, we have to be quiet or we’ll get caught.” Wang Yibo smirked and winked at him.

Xiao Zhan was both amused and a little flustered at his actions. Two lifetimes and this man still made his head spin and heart beat faster, by doing the bare minimum. He was hopeless, really.

“The life of a criminal doesn’t suit you, Lao Wang. Please reconsider who is supposed to be the villain here. Lan Wangji would _never.”_ Xiao Zhan played along.

“Wouldn’t it? I think it would. Just imagine, me as a criminal mastermind vigilante, you as the dedicated newly joined cop in the force, who keeps running into me and never realizes I’m the criminal you keep complaining to me about. We’d be an instant hit!” Yibo swings their joined hands as they walk in the night, reaching a parked bike on the side of the road.

“Great, now we’ve gotten out. Ge, you said you’ve sat on a bike before, right? So, will you be fine if we go a little fast? It’s just that I don’t want us to be late….” Wang Yibo looked at him questioningly.

“Um, sure, I don’t mind…” mind still reeling from Yibo’s description of their roles and the sight of the all too familiar bike.

“Hold on tight, okay? I’m very careful, so don’t be scared.” Yibo smiled at him reassuringly as he gave him his helmet, and Xiao Zhan nodded, accepting it. The first time he’d gotten a ride on Yibo’s bike, he’d been told these exact words. It had never happened like this, however. This was a first for this life.

Xiao Zhan could feel himself trembling just a little as he steadied himself on the bike. There were no passenger handlebars, so he shakily embraced Yibo’s waist, heart thudding loudly. This position, he had once thought he would never enjoy again…

Yibo placed his own hand on Xiao Zhan’s, pulling him closer, till Xiao Zhan was pressed against his back. There was no way Yibo would miss his loud heartbeat now, but Xiao Zhan was greedy and couldn’t force himself away from the warmth.

The summer night was pleasantly cool, a soft breeze ruffling his clothes as they sped along the road, hardly any other vehicles in close distance. If Xiao Zhan could, he would have liked time to pause in this scene, as the world seemed to cover them in their own little bubble. There were a thousand worries that Xiao Zhan happily drowned himself in daily, but right now, on this road, there was only him with Wang Yibo, and not even the loud rush of his thoughts could sneak past the immense love that gripped his whole body.

_I would alter what’s written in our fates  
in exchange for you.  
You are my mornings,   
You are my shore,  
You my river, my medium,   
My caravan begins with you,  
 **and my life ends with your call**_

****

“Zhan ge? We’re here.” Yibo’s voice broke Xiao Zhan from the reverie of his thoughts, and Xiao Zhan looked up to see that they had stopped in front of a restaurant. A hotpot restaurant, to be exact. Xiao Zhan inhaled sharply as he remembered that one hotpot date Wang Yibo had sneaked him off too, a whole lifetime ago. That did not happen now, though? He mindlessly got off the bike, looking at Yibo with a confused look as he said, “Yibo….?”

“You said you liked hotpot. Our schedule is not godawfully early tomorrow and I managed to convince my manager to get my bike and let me off for one night, so.... Anyway, let’s head in!” Wang Yibo quickly parked his bike and came back, one hand in his pocket and other quickly pulling Xiao Zhan’s to lead them inside the restaurant.

Xiao Zhan was having a hard time trying to keep a straight face, his mind was literally fluctuating as he remembered his first life and this exact date that Wang Yibo had taken him on. They took a private seat just as Xiao Zhan remembered just how underdressed he was at that moment.

“Wang Yibo! You did not tell me we’d be going to a restaurant! Look at me!” Xiao Zhan hissed at him. Wang Yibo gave him a slow, heavily loaded look as he scanned him from top to bottom and said, “I did. You look gorgeous, as usual. What about it?”

Xiao Zhan laughed, exasperated. “Yibo! I’m in my pyjamas and this stupid old t-shirt, and you call me gorgeous? Really, you must stop stretching the truth so much!”

“Xiao Laoshi looks ethereal, no matter what he wears. He outshines us mortals with his divine beauty.” Wang Yibo flashed him a smirk over the menu.

“Shut up, bo-di, seriously. Have you even had hotpot before??”

“Nope, but I’m looking forward to it.”

“Then you aren’t allowed to order. Gimme.” Xiao Zhan imperiously demanded the menu card, and Yibo handed it over amicably. “Of course, Zhan ge’s tastes are far more superior than mine own.”

Xiao Zhan narrowed his eyes, smacked him on the head with the menu before burying his nose in the menu. He hoped that focusing on going with the flow would distract him from replaying the events of his last life. He deliberated a lot, before deciding that mala xiang guo(spicy tasty pot) was simply not okay for the hot summer and Yibo couldn’t handle spicy anyway, so he decided that Manchu hotpot was the best choice, seeing that it would be sour enough for the vinegar loving maniac in front of him.

After their food had arrived and was simmering in the pot, Xiao Zhan breathed a sigh of relief as he focused on preparing the food instead of the constant thrum on suppressed memories. The strong mist from the hot food was making his eyesight foggy and the soft lights didn’t help either, putting him in a strange nostalgic mood. Thankfully, Wang Yibo genuinely seemed to like the food and was too focused on it to see Xiao Zhan’s lost gaze.

He’d pondered so hard, questioned himself over and over again, yet he never managed to reach any conclusion. How long could he go on with the flow of time like this, pretending it was all okay for him and hoping things would go fine? How long till the clock struck twelve and the spell broke, and Xiao Zhan would end up where he was before: dead, lost, full of regrets, with no purpose or strength.

“Zhan ge……?” Xiao Zhan did not respond to Wang Yibo’s call.

“Zhan Ge? Xiao Zhan? Hey, Xiao Zhan, are you okay?” a second call had more success as Xiao Zhan’s gaze snapped from where it had been stuck on the lights to Wang Yibo’s concerned eyes. Under these soft yellow lights and warm mist, the warm browns shone brighter, like amber or opal under a light.

“Hmmm? Sorry, Yibo, just got distracted for a second.” Xiao Zhan flashed him a smile.

“Ge…. I really wish you wouldn’t do that.” Yibo said softly.

“Do what, Yibo?” Xiao Zhan asked, confused.

“That. Sometimes…. You look at me as if you are looking not at me, but someone else. At first, I thought perhaps you had gotten too much into your character and begun seeing me as Lan Wangji…. But you don’t look at me that way when we act. No, it’s only when I do something like this, or even say something perfectly normal, and then you just….. you disappear to another place. I don’t want that, Zhan ge. I want you to look at _me,_ right now, when you’re with me. Maybe that is selfish of me… but I can’t help it. Surely you feel it too, right?”

Xiao Zhan swallowed as his eyes widened, blood rushing in his ears. Here he thought he’d been so careful….. Of course, Xiao Zhan had failed. And Yibo, ever the perceptive one, had noticed.

“Feel what, Yibo?” Xiao Zhan asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Zhan ge…… you know it. We’re close. But we’ve crossed the line of ‘close friends’ some time ago. Yet I can’t move ahead until I understand why you keep looking at me like this… please, tell me.” Wang Yibo implored, eyes open and honest. Xiao Zhan could easily drown in them, lose himself in the storm that Wang Yibo brought, all too willing. Yet he hesitated. He’d already promised himself not to pull Yibo in his mess, and when it came to him, there was bound to be some mess.

“Yibo…. We can’t.” Xiao Zhan said with an air of finality.

“Why?” Yibo asked, a small tick already appearing between his eyebrows. Xiao Zhan was already familiar with that, and he already knew how much and how well Yibo could argue.

“Not all questions will get answers, Bo-di. Sometimes, you just have to accept it. Let it go before it hurts you.”

“So you’re convinced we’ll hurt each other.” Wang Yibo said incredulously, eyes sharp.

Not you, just me. “You could never hurt me, Yibo. And I would never want to hurt you. But people hurt each other without meaning to or knowing how, all the time.” Xiao Zhan sighed, before getting up. With Wang Yibo, less was always more. The lesser he said, the more Yibo would find ways to pester him. The best way would be to be firm.

☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

They stayed silent the whole ride back home, and Xiao Zhan could feel the tension in Wang Yibo’s back. It was better that he pushed him off now, before they got in deeper, Xiao Zhan thought. That way, he would have more time to get over Xiao Zhan.

With these thoughts in mind, Xiao Zhan stepped off the bike, wished Yibo a soft good night and thank you, before turning to leave. He’d barely gotten to the lift before a hand tugged on his, leading them to the stairwell. He was pushed back against a wall, Wang Yibo glaring down at him with narrowed eyes and a stubborn look, and Xiao Zhan mentally sighed.

“Wang Yibo… just what are you doing now?” he asked. “Anyone could walk in on us, Yibo, or did you forget that?”

“You aren’t getting off this easily. We must talk. I only let it go because we were in a restaurant before, but its almost midnight now and nobody uses the stairs anyway.” Yibo said confidently.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?” Xiao Zhan asked.

“I want a kiss.”

Xiao Zhan stared, thoughts reeling to a stop. He’d been prepared to point out all the obstacles they would face if they dated, and of course Wang Yibo would bypass all of that to ask for something like this.

“Did ge not hear me? I want a kiss. Now.”

“I heard you very well. What I want to know is, _why?”_

“Not all questions will get answered, Zhan ge. Sometimes you just need to accept things. Before I kiss you.” Yibo smiled, looking very innocent.

“Wang Yibo, ask yourself: Are you a human? Really, how can you ask for this?”

“Of course, I am, and very easily. In fact, I’ll be kind to you and even tell you why. Since Zhan ge so cruelly rejected me, I want a kiss as a token of our requited but impossible to realize feelings. According to you, that is.” Wang Yibo said seriously.

“You- what- You know what? I’m not playing along with your craziness anymore. Let me go, I am not going along with this.”

Yibo sighed. “Zhan ge, just tell me one thing. You like me like I like you, yes?”

I love you, you idiot. “Yes.” He answered.

“Then you can kiss me once since you aren’t willing to date me? I mean, you like me, so that much should be fine, no?” Yibo reasoned out.

“No, I will not.” Xiao Zhan looked away.

“Zhan ge…. Please? Tell me why you wont?” Yibo asked softly, and Xiao Zhan was ready to bet all his money that he was probably pouting and looking very sorrowful right now, like a kicked puppy, and he would crumble like cotton candy is he turned to look at that face.

Wang Yibo lifted one hand to gently turn his face, before giving him that exact look, pouting.

“Yibo…… I can’t just kiss you once…” Xiao Zhan tried to deny, his voice a mumble. Yibo smiled, eyes flashing with glee as he said, “You said you can’t kiss me just _once._ So you want to kiss me more than once?”

“Wang Yibo, I’m warning you now…” Xiao Zhan stood up from his leaning, only for Yibo to curl his arm around his waist, bringing them closer than ever, as he softly whispered in his ears, “Won’t you tell me, Zhan ge?”

Xiao Zhan shuddered, a soft whimper coming from his mouth. This was the closest he had come to Wang Yibo in _years,_ including his first life. He’d clearly lost any immunity he had to Yibo.

“I can’t kiss you just once… and then move on… but I can’t date you… because I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” His voiced cracked at the end, a traitorous tear slipping from his left eye as he remembered how they’d ended.

Yibo’s fingers softly caressed his cheek, wiping away his tears. “Zhan ge… this is what I keep trying to convey to you. You care so much for me. You nag me to take care of myself, you let me play around with you however I want, you listen to me talk your ears off, you _remember_ the silly things I say. Yet when I try to reciprocate, you get scared like a skittish deer. Worse yet, you keep looking at me as if I’m not me. As if you’re looking at a memory or something that doesn’t exist. I don’t know why or how, but I want that to change too. I know you’re scared of getting hurt and hurting me, but so am I, can’t you see? You let me lean on you for support, why can’t you lean on me for once? Stop thinking of whatever memory or horrid future you’re imagining. Look at _me. The me of Now.”_ Wang Yibo looked at him with earnest, passion filled eyes. With his arms around Xiao Zhan’s waist and a hand still warming his cheeks, it was like Xiao Zhan’s senses were filled with Wang Yibo.

He’d been playing this wrong. The point was not getting lost in what had already happened but solving what could be solved and living for _now._ Yesterday was long gone. So was his first life. He was lucky enough to have a second chance, luckier still to have Yibo like this, looking at him like he was all that mattered. How could he step away from this? Was this not one of his greatest regrets?

“Okay.” Xiao Zhan whispered and circled his own arms around Yibo’s neck, giving him a look full of love as he watched the surprised and happy emotions flash across Yibo’s eyes. He pulled Yibo in while leaning in himself, and their lips connected. For the first time since waking up to a cold and dark room after a painful death, Xiao Zhan felt he’d reached home.

☽━❦❀–·𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂·–❀❦━☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all those who read my works, THANK YOU! Also, to the one person who commented in Spanish.. OMG, I was so moved! To think you searched so hard for my fic... ah, this one is honored :)   
> If you think WYB has any plan... nope, he just went 'I wanna sweep Zhan ge off his feet :3' and literally sweeped him off his feet and onto his skateboard (which I'm p sure isn't possible but whatever our mans is strong) I was cackling like a maniac when I wrote that, then swooning as I wrote the bike ride.... the bold +italic parts are not actual lyrics but ones I tweaked because I tend to wax poetic at the drop of a Yizhan moment :3
> 
> About the hotpot: Xiao Zhan has mentioned he likes the mala hot pot or noodles, can't remember which, and that's from Chonqqing, so yeah. Yibo likes sour things, from what I remember, and Manchu pot has lots of suan cai, or Chinese sauerkraut, which makes it sour. Look at them, WYBbrings XZ to eat hotpot because he mentions it ONCE, and XZ orders something WYB will like :))))) 
> 
> The song here is by an Indian singer, Dhvani Bhanushali, and it is called "Vaaste". I don't really love all her music(and the producer of this song loves spoiling old songs through horrid remixes) but the lyrics(by Arafat Mehmood) are very beautiful and touching! The singer has good vocals, though, and if anyone wants to listen, just search the song up on YT or Spotify.


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